Dealing with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD, has been one of my greatest struggles. You’re never quite sure when it’s going to rear its ugly head. Seemingly innocent situations can bring on even the worst of attacks. You struggle, trying desperately to figure out why…and rarely find an answer. Chalk it up to a shift in brain chemistry. Whatever it is, GAD can be debilitating.
Our fight or flight response is our body’s way of protecting us from a possible threat. With GAD, there often is no threat at all – but your brain is convinced otherwise. If a child woke up in the night, frightened from a monster in their closet, it could take hours to talk them down into a state of calm once again. This is if you are rational, calm adult yourself. With GAD, you are both the child and the adult. So now the eight year old with an intense fear of his closet is also the one trying to convince himself that there is nothing remotely scary in that closet, and that he should just relax and go to sleep.
I’m trying to arrive at a place, mentally and emotionally, where I feel totally secure. It’s an arduous process. I have a lot of changes to make and am not quite sure where to begin with some of them. I just pray for the best. I pray that those who love me know how important my mental health is, and will back me up no matter what. I need support. I need to figure how to deal with that closet. I have a few ideas, but only time will tell.
And then maybe I can lock that door once and for all.
http://justjames.org/shamim/eight.html